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Risk2210.  It's not a bad game.  But it's got a lot of fiddly little cards which really aren't as fun as they should be.

So here's some flavour text.


Diplomacy Deck



Cease Fire
Target Opponent may not attack you this turn.

Diplomacy.  The art of saying "Bad dog.  Down boy.  GET OFF MY LAP."



Cease Fire
Target Opponent may not attack you this turn.

Diplomacy.  The art of pointing at somebody else, and mouthing "He did it."



Colony influence
Add three to your score

Sorry, was I supposed to be doing something?



Colony influence
Add three to your score

With these canapes, I am really spoiling you.



Colony influence
Add three to your score

Some days it pays to defuse armed conflicts.  Others, it pays to go to the beach.



Colony influence
Add three to your score

I'm just a little diplomat.  Sitting here doing my job.  Not like you armies and rulers.  And when you're all dead, the world will be MINE.



Decoys revealed
Move any commanders to any zones you control

I'm just a little diplomat.  Sitting here doing my job.  Which is killing you.



Decoys revealed
Move any commanders to any zones you control

Run away.  RUN AWAY!



Energy Crisis
Each opponent gives you one energy.

In my native language, crisis and opportunity are the same word.  You'd not be so impolute as to ask what language that is, would you?  No.  So cough up the energy.



Energy Crisis
Each opponent gives you one energy.

And if you were all to donate your spare nuclear reactors to me, I'm sure the crisis would just go away.



Evacuation
Move all units from the attacked territory to any territory you control

Those diplomatic courier bags are surprisingly roomy.


Evacuation
Move all units from the attacked territory to any territory you control

This embassy is actually the sovereign territory of somewhereoverthereistan.  So we're all over there, really.  See?



Major Power
Draw one command card from each deck (if you have the appropriate commander in play)

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of... what do you mean 'water'?  Gah.


MOD reduction
Each opponent removes four MODs in turn order. then you remove two MODs

It's terrible!  Peace has broken out!



MOD reduction
Each opponent removes four MODs in turn order. then you remove two MODs

Let's all put some aside for the next war.


Redeployment
Make an extra fortification

They're embassy staff.  They're coming with me.


Redeployment
Make an extra fortification

Oh no, they weren't ever really there.  I just said that so you'd not kill them.



Redeployment
Make an extra fortification

It's not cheating when a diplomat does it.



Territorial Station
Place a space station in any land territory you control

Damn it, I'm a diplomat, not a construction depot.



Territorial Station
Place a space station in any land territory you control

Diplomatic bags.  Roomy.  Nuff said.



Territorial Station
Place a space station in any land territory you control

Well, at the last soiree Lady Westmisthaven joked about a missile in my pocket and on the stairs I thought of the PERFECT reply, so...




Land Deck





Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any land territory you control

This will tip the balance.  Yup.  War is won through brute force.



Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any land territory you control

How come you guys won't build without me around to bother you, anyhow?



Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any land territory you control

Great.  More fiddly little robots.  Just what we needed.



Colony influence
Add three to your score

Let's put it this way.  I'm around, so you win.


Colony influence
Add three to your score

As you can see, you are NOT DEAYED.



Frequency Jam
Chosen opponent cannot play command cards during your turn

Softly softly, sneaky monkey.  Or I'll blow your brains out.



Frequency Jam
Chosen opponent cannot play command cards during your turn

If I can't do anything clever, neither can you.  I am reliably assured by my egghead over here.



Land Death Trap
Attacker must destroy half the units in the attacking territory 

Once upon a time, we called these 'mines'.  Now we know better grammer.  Theys was yours.



Major Flowerz
Remove one desolation marker

Son, you call me that one more time and you'll be regretting it.  By the way son, you don't own that continent any more.



Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three land territories you control

Well, it's better than... Oh wait.  No it isn't.



Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three land territories you control

What eggheaded idjut came up with this deployment plan?




Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three land territories you control

Well shoot.  That was useful.



Scout Forces
Draw a land territory card, and place 5 Mods in that zone as soon as you control it.

Whattya mean you scouted overthereistan?  You're overthereistanese!  Fer...  Stop hiding.  C'mon out.



Scout Forces
Draw a land territory card, and place 5 Mods in that zone as soon as you control it.

So, you'll not help us conquer the place?  Why, it'd mess up your nice little scout maps too much?



Scout Forces
Draw a land territory card, and place 5 Mods in that zone as soon as you control it.

Round and round the earth she goes, where they scout, we'll never know...



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Smart fruit!



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

What the...  Well how can you deter the enemy if he can't see you, idjuts!  Turn it off!



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Open fire!  All... Some MODs!  Hah!  There's more where they came from!


Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

... where DID they come from?


Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Seriously, these things are house sized.  It's creepy how they can just vanish like that.



Stealth station
Place a space station in the defending territory

Ok, someone is extracting the mouse, here.  No one told me about this?  We could have conquered the MOON by now, you fools!  Ah heck, kill 'em.




Water Deck




Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any water territory you control

I am the only one who knows the secret of diving suits for mecha!



Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any water territory you control

Bobbing along, bobbing along, in the beautiful briiiny sea...



Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any water territory you control

I build them out of crabs, you know.



Colony Influence
Add three to your score

My underwater kingdom may be all that survives the next nuking, you know.



Colony Influence
Add three to your score

You know that your water is fresh when there's MODs peeing in it.



Frequency Jam
chosen opponent cannot play any command cards during your turn

Silly opponent shouldn't have used magical water radio, should he?



Frequency Jam
chosen opponent cannot play any command cards during your turn

And you all said Aquaman was useless!


Hidden Energy
Draw a water territory card, and collect four energy if you control that territory at the end of your turn

Where do you want to rule today?



Hidden Energy
Draw a water territory card, and collect four energy if you control that territory at the end of your turn

Atlantis!  It's magical Atlantis!  Hidden there all along!



Hidden Energy
Draw a water territory card, and collect four energy if you control that territory at the end of your turn

You used to be able to harvest the land like this once, but now... now only the sea remains alive.


Hidden Energy
Draw a water territory card, and collect four energy if you control that territory at the end of your turn

Dolphins!  The Dolphins!



Hidden Energy
Draw a water territory card, and collect four energy if you control that territory at the end of your turn

Nothing hidden from ME!  For I can sea!



Major Death
Destroy all enemy naval commanders in play

Some like to sabotage enemy command structures with nukes.  Me, I made a deal.  With the dolphins.



Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three water territories you control

You will see!  They will fight, for me!  Under the sea!


Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three water territories you control

Starfish... ASSEMBLE!  The crabs!  Into MODs!



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Nobody expects MODs under the sea!


Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Canute canute, that merry old hoot, danced in the sea, mad as a coot.


Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Fear you the undersea kingdom?  Down here, you might get wet!



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Summon the seals!



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

We hide our stealth mods in the stealth seas!



Water Death Trap
Attacker must destroy half the units in the attacking territory

Emphasis 'water', you electronic ironclad robot things.  Not really so much a trap.  I mean, it's not like we've got stealth oceans...




Nuclear Deck




Aqua Brother
Destroy one unit in each zone of a randomly determined water colony

10: GO TO WATER
20: BE BOOM
30: GO TO 20


Assassin Bomb
Destroy an opponent's commander on a roll of 3+ on a D8

10: GOTO RAND D8
20: BE BOOM
30: GO TO COMMANDER
40: GO TO 20



Assassin Bomb
Destroy an opponent's commander on a roll of 3+ on a D8

10: I THINK // syntax error?  What is this meant to do?
20: THEREFORE I AM // compiler: missing be clause in 'fore'
30: COMMANDER.BE BOOM


Assassin Bomb
Destroy an opponent's commander on a roll of 3+ on a D8

10: BE N 3 D 8
00: DO TO BE MORE FROM BE MORE
70: DO TO BE MORE FROM BE MORE
30: BE BOOM


Armageddon
All players (in turn order) may play nuke cards without paying the energy costs

10: TWICE : WHEN ( WE.GO ) ALL.GO TO GETHER
20: BE BOOM // was: radioactive_glow.bathe


Major Pain
During this turn, all units attacking with your nuclear commander roll D8s

10: MOD.BE THIS

Nicky Boy
Destroy one unit in each zone of a randomly determined Lunar colony

10: GO TO ORBIT
20: MOON.BE BOOM
30: GO TO BE.SURE // only way in



Rocket Strike Land
Destroy 1D6 units in chosen enemy land territory

10: GO TO TARGET
20: ON 6 : BE BOOM



Rocket Strike Land
Destroy 1D6 units in chosen enemy land territory

10: GO TO TARGET
20: EVERY(TIME) BE DUD



Rocket Strike Moon
Destroy 1D6 units in chosen enemy lunar territory

10: GO TO TARGET
20: ON SPACE : BE BOOM



Rocket Strike Moon
Destroy 1D6 units in chosen enemy lunar territory

10: GO TO TARGET
20: ON MOON : BE BOOM



Rocket Strike Water
Destroy 1D6 units in chosen enemy water territory

10: SEA TARGET
20: SEA TARGET BOOM
30: BOOM TARGET, BOOM



Rocket Strike Water
Destroy 1D6 units in chosen enemy water territory

10: ALT>AQUAMAN.BOOM.BOOM.BOOM



Scatter Bomb Land
Draw three land territory cards.  Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

THRICE( ON FRIEND: LIVE OR LIVE.  ON ENEMY: LIVE OR DIE. )



Scatter Bomb Land
Draw three land territory cards.  Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

THRICE( ON FRIEND: LIVE OR LIVE.  ON ENEMY: LIVE OR DIE. )



Scatter Bomb Land
Draw three land territory cards.  Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

10: GO TO ENEMY
20: ON ENEMY BE BOOM



Scatter Bomb Land
Draw three land territory cards.  Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

10: PLEASE BE BOOM // compiler: Not always polite enough?  Huh?



Scatter Bomb Moon
Draw two lunar territory cards. Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

10: GO TO MOON
20: LET *(THIS.SING)*
30: BOOM


Scatter Bomb Moon
Draw two lunar territory cards. Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

10: CHEESE.IRRADIATE



Scatter Bomb Water
Draw two water territory cards. Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

// Not implemented.



Scatter Bomb Water
Draw two water territory cards. Opponents must destroy half their units in the territories drawn

// Routine never called.  Removed.



The Mother
Destroy one unit in each territory of a randomly determined continent

10: GO TO TARGET
20: GET TARGET
...
ON ERROR ( UNINITIALISED ) FOR ALL : BE BOOM




Space Deck




Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any Lunar territory you control

The men is ours, moon!



Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any Lunar territory you control

I hereby claim these men, in the name of all moonkind!



Assemble MODs
Place three MODs in any Lunar territory you control

Eeny meany miney MOON!


Colony influence
Add three to your score


This isn't earth, this is the moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!



Colony influence
Add three to your score

From up her, the whole of your planet fits in my glove.  And my glove is stinky.  Bow to me, or be stinky!



Energy Extraction
Collect seven energy if you control the entire moon at the end of your turn

Cheese Grommits!



Frequency Jam
Chosen opponent cannot play any command cards during your turn

And how will your plans help you - on the MOOON?



Frequency Jam
Chosen opponent cannot play any command cards during your turn

No mister bond, I expect you to moon!



Invade earth
Draw a land territory card. You may attack that territory from any lunar territory this turn

It's an adjacent territory if I say that it's an adjacent territory.  Who are you to deny me, moon?



Invade earth
Draw a land territory card. You may attack that territory from any lunar territory this turn

A freak nuclear accident changed the moons orbit, and now we must colonise the first planet we see!



Invade earth
Draw a land territory card. You may attack that territory from any lunar territory this turn

All your earths are belong to moon!



Major Destruction
Destroy 1D6 enemy space stations

The moon laughs at your pitiful 'space ships'.  Only lunar exploration bathoscopes may traverse the phlogistom!



Orbital Mines
Attacker must destroy half the units in the attacking territory

The tides turn against you!  The tides of war!  Since you can't attack me from your pitiful 'water'.


Orbital Mines
Attacker must destroy half the units in the attacking territory

Orbital Moons.  MOONS.  Get it right!


Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three lunar territories you control

The moon men will save us!  From evil little you.



Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three lunar territories you control

The moon will save us!  From evil Me.



Reinforcements
Place one MOD in each of any three lunar territories you control

The moomins will save us!  From evil little Mi.




Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!




Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

Moon to mister spoon!  We're under attack!  Press the round button immediately!



Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

That's one small step for moon, one GiantFightingRobot for moonkind!




Stealth MODs
Place three defending MODs in the territory under attack

We shall fight them on the craters.  We shall fight them on the other craters.  We shall fight them on the MOON!  And yeah, never give up and stuff, never has so little been mooned by so moon to moon moon moon.  Moon.


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Last edited January 8, 2008 2:58 pm (viewing revision 5, which is the newest) (diff)
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